Is age really a number ..The benefits of Dating Outside of your Age Range

Have you noticed that dating in this day and age can be overwhelming and underwhelming at the same time? Let me explain.

We have multiple dating assistant resources such as social media, dating websites, passenger-side relationship motivational speakers and even online sex coaches to assist us in finding “the one” that we’re most compatible with. These convenient resources that we have at our fingertips make it anxiety-inducing, having to navigate the dating world as we access and assess our excessive dating options (see what I did there lol). 

Not-so-shockingly, the internet (which will outlive all of us) has reduced our degrees of separation from 6 to 3.5, meaning that we are more connected and similar to each other than ever before, which creates an underwhelming dating experience. We typically stick within our age range, which means that we’re pretty much dating the same guy, who agrees with the same memes, that’s following the same instagram models and with the same mindset when it comes to dating. There’s nothing wrong with preferring to date within your age range but we shouldn’t limit ourselves to checking off just one age group box.  

Gold Digger: a woman who dates men, typically older, purely to extract money from them.

Cougar: an older woman who dates younger men.

Society has created these negative labels to place on women to shame them for exploring love outside of their age group and it’s extremely hypocritical. Men are seen in a more respectable and attractive light compared to women in the same relationships and it’s perpetuated by the media. Celebrity women such as Jennifer Lopez, Shaunie O’neal, and Kimora Lee Simmons, who are famously known for dating much older and younger men, are subjected to ridicule that is all too common and it’s time to change the narrative. We as women have to stop letting the media and the opinions of others dictate our love life. Finding a life partner (of legal age consent) should be based on maturity level and not on age. Dating outside of your age-based comfort zone can be, understandably, scary but nothing passionate and exciting can come from settling out of fear. Sure, there are a some cons, but how will you know if you never take the chance? 

There are so many benefits to expanding your dating age range and I know from personal experience. I’ve had the luxury of learning invaluable lessons, experiencing the most exciting excursions, and having some of the most amazing sexual encounters from dating outside of my age range.

Younger Men

As the popular meme goes, “Madonna is 55 and her boyfriend is 22, Tina Turner is 75 and her boyfriend is 40, JLo is 42 and her boyfriend is 26, Mariah Carrie is 44, her husband, 32...Still Single??? Don't worry, your boyfriend hasn't even been born yet”. 

I often get approached by younger men and I usually laugh them away. That was until I met this super-hot trustfund college kid on a one-wheel skateboard at CSUN. He was a 20 year old from New Jersey and I was a 23 year old who was intrigued by his style and love for golf. This wasn’t a huge age gap but it was for me as I was only interested in older men. I was on a “break” from a long-term relationship when I met Josh. He reminded me of Pharrell Williams and our relationship was filled with in-n-out, wine that was purchased by myself, and some of the most intense orgasms that I used to read about in Zane books during my high school days. Our relationship only lasted a few months but after my brief experience with Josh, I was inspired to no longer limit myself to age and was now open to dating younger (legal) men. 

Dating a younger man (of legal consent) can have some amazing perks. They’re youthful, ambitious, light-hearted, and have a full hairline. Younger men haven’t been corrupted by additional years of bills, heartbreak, and Hpnotiq (and four lokos, ugh!). These type of guys add inspiration, exciting new ideas and great sex into your life. They are more open minded and are eager to learn new things.

Although, younger men are known to be carefree and not value serious relationships, the information age has raised these boys into men at a rapid rate and they are much more mature, confident, and know what they want in life.

Older Men

I’ve always had my eyes on the older boys since I was in 1st grade. While all the other girls were playing teather ball and entertaining themselves with rollie pollies, I was trying to keep my OshKosh Dress clean and my Mary Janes scuff-free to impress my 5th grade crush, Kyle. One afternoon on the play yard, I was set on disrupting his basketball game by being extremely annoying and cute. After successfully ruining his game, he attempted to release me back to my 1st grade friends by asking me to politely let him get back to his game and kissed me on the cheek. Honey, you would’ve thought I was in a cartoon the way I squealed and floated off into the air with hearts in my eyes. Everyone thought it was super cute. My life changed with that very kiss and I was forever hooked on older men.

Fast forward to 24 when I met Marseilles, a 45 year old man from Dallas who smoked cigars in front of West LA cafe’s and drove a Bullitt Mustang. He was the smoothest man I’ve ever met in my life. He wore pashmina scarves and spoke French. Every moment with him felt like I was in a fabulous black and white movie. We attended museums, art galleries, and conversed for hours about our love for jazz over brunch. Even though we weren’t physically intimate, he totally upgraded my entire life and I am forever grateful for him.

Dating an older man can be very rewarding. They’re established, wise, cultured and chivalrous. They exude power and are sure of themselves. Their additional years of life lessons make them intriguing and the enlightening conversations are endless. The modern older man takes care of himself mentally, keeps up with himself physically, and knows how to please a woman. 

With any dating advice, you should always use your best judgement as not everyone will embody these characteristics. Dating outside of your comfort zone can be nerve-wrecking but it can also be fulfilling because the focus is on experiencing the other person and not on marriage. Not only will expanding your dating age range increase your chances of adding vitality, culture, and new experiences to your life, but it will also increase your chances of finding “the one”.